Bloated and Emotional!

That pretty much sums up what it's like to take estrogen. I still have some swelling that I am sure is related to the surgery, and I think that is part of the issue and should improve sometime in the near future (I hope). I started crying in my closet last night, because I can't button ANY of my work pants. I have a few pair of really casual pants that I can wear on weekends, but I am really in a bind for work. I don't think this would normally make me cry, so I am going to blame that on the estrogen as well.

I don't know what to do, because I am not sure how long I will be swollen like this. I *really* dont' want to go out and spend money on bigger pants - especially not while we are paying for the surgery, Jamie's tuition for grad school, and trying to do Elise's Christmas shopping. I have 2 skirts that I can wear since they have stretchy waists and one pair of black pants that are normally too big. Otherwise, I am completely out of luck. I found a pair of jeans that are baggy and that is what I am wearing today (luckily we have casual Fridays at work). So I am really hopeful that some of this will go down by Monday. If not, my coworkers are going to get pretty tired of those 2 skirts and black pants. At least I have something that I can wear, though.

My bandages came off yesterday since the doctor said I could remove them after one week. I really, really regret that! If anyone else ever has a laparoscopy...leave the bandages on!!! I was so incredibly grossed out by what I saw when I removed them. The incisions were not stitched, so it was just the steri-strips that were holding them together, and they are not entirely healed yet. I got a little bit lightheaded when I looked down at them. Luckily they have dried out pretty well and are looking a bit better today. But man, I am really bruised and the cuts are not looking very nice right now. I'm thinking they will leave scars, but that is okay. One will be inside my belly button and probably won't be very noticable at all once fully healed.

I'm moving around normally again now, and last night was the first night that I could roll over in bed comfortably. It was great to get a full night's rest without having to wake up to roll over. My instructions said I could resume exercise after one week, but I still don't feel up to doing anything too strenuous. I could not run right now. It's good to know that I can resume exercise once I feel up to it, though.

Jamie and I will go see Dr. Dunn next Wednesday for our follow-up visit. They will not do another SHG yet, but he will show us some pictures of the surgery and discuss in more detail how things went and what he saw inside. I have a few more questions that I've thought of since surgery, so it will be good to have the opportunity to ask next week.

We should be able to schedule the SHG for sometime during the first week in December. It needs to be 4 weeks post-op. I am going to try to get in on the 6th, I think. I am assuming it will work the same way as the last one, and we will get the results and meet with Dr. Dunn immediately following the procedure. That is what I am hoping for, because the wait is already killing me! I am so anxious to know how it's healing in there. I've been really watching what I eat (with the exception of pizza on Tuesday night) and religiously taking my vitamins and estrogen. I figure every little bit might help.

Jamie is now afraid to touch me. Poor guy! He is afraid he's going to hurt me. He's so funny...now when he wants a hug, he just holds out his hands and I have to go to him. I'll be glad when he can relax more and not have to worry about all of that.

I also felt sorry for him last night when I was having my meltdown over my pants not fitting. I actually went upstairs and drug out some maternity pants and put them on. They fit well through my stomach, but were too big in the butt area. I was trying them on, and I said, "Well, at least my ass doesn't look pregnant." He started laughing, which was NOT the right thing to do at that moment. I snapped at him, and for the rest of the evening, I think he was scared to say anything at all. Of course, now I can see the humor in it as well.

Hey, the good news is that I only have 3 more weeks on the estrogen...